Lost with no direction_1

I've been feeling very useless these days. You see me crazy or the way i talk is happy, but inner, i'm not at all. I kept questioning myself what i've done wrong to ended up like this. I really thought this holiday will be great, but... Sigh, i really lost, i swear.

Every food, every motion, everything reminded me of our memories and you. I just wanted to be a good friend for you and cared so much about you, so much so that i guess, i did wrong somehow, in some ways.. i hope we can be friends again. Please? -beg-

Tomorrow is my 6th month knowing 1D'2011 and 2D'2012 some of them. Guess they regretted knowing me right? But have they ever wonder why? Never mind. I love everyone of them as a student or junior-senior relationships. No matter how much bad impression they had on me, after all, i'm not related to them other than maybe junior-senior like this. Hmm...

I don't dare eating supper anymore, appetite decrease, all because of my emotion and memories. Can you still treat Koala as friend? Trust me again? -Beg- Sigh. Such a good friend that i don't wanna lose and let go.

Feel so useless, weak in everything, blamed by everyone, even in public. Alone...with nobody liking me, be it friends, strangers, or any.. Hate myself. How i wish i have your support, Mouse..