Experience.

I felt like i'm not a good person.

I knew this friend recently, i'm happy to know her. However, i feel bad. I've got a feeling or hunch that we wont be friends anymore because of my own thoughts and decisions. Don't blame yourself, it's my fault cuz i've been too long on my own, i'm not used with people coming into my life for awhile and then leave me for no reason. Though it could be the other way now, i guess i'll talk lesser or stay in contact with you.

To be frank, i'm really touched with the way she treated me, not sure if as a friend or what. I'm touched, but again... I'm not somebody who can like, you know, used with this kind cuz nobody treated me this way in the past, being nice to me, so i can't accept it, sorry, i sucks.

Till now, i tried to stop smoking, hope it works, but maybe i'll smoke casually. I miss mouse, i'm disappointed with the fact that she only talks to me whenever she feel like it. You see, when school reopened, i sent a long text to her the night before sch reopen, but her reply was only 'Haha.' Disappointment...seriously. And we never talk for 3 days till just now when i talked to her again. Why can't she talk to me first? Why only find me whenever you want? I'm really upset with this.

Not many people know, but i tried to go around making people happy and even act as a fool just to make people laugh too. They thought i'm pedo or acting cute, but do you know it's hard to act? It's me, i blame myself for caring too much, i'm still trying to care less.

I miss shy pretty sleepy princess, can't wait to see her again in westwood during teachers' day. But, when she go jc/poly, i'll never be able to see her anymore... Sigh.